wakey wakey hands off snakey
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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