margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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