I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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