tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
