i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
