You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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