ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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