great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
