You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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