He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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