Me too!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were trust falling into bushes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize