Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
