see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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