I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
