All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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