if only i could text you this smell
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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