i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
