she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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