i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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