dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
