Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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