is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
