do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
