why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize