It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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