HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
