considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
