Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
