Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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