He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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