I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
