I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we made out on top of his cat.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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