i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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