i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
