is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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