I faked an abortion last night.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
