omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
