i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
