Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize