Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
