I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
do nipples grow back?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
