she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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