Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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