Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
