he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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