i don't like sucking hair
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
whose ass print is on the piano?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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