im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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