I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
