she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Even my vagina gasped.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
