I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
