she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
