I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
