why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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