He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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