Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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