Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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