we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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