I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
from now on my penis is your penis
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize