At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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