I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He better not be in your backpack
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
