That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just gift wrapped bread.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
